Doubt
by HorseTechie
Summary: A continuation from after S2 Episode 8 "The Blade of the Marmora", taken from Keith's perspective as he makes sense of his new reality, and how his two closest teammates try to help. Lance also tries to make amends in his own way. (Klance Fluff / Keith and Shiro are adoptive brothers)


From the moment they left the secret base and arrived to the castle-ship, Keith's mind acted solely on auto-pilot. So much happened in such a short period of time, he was still left trying to process everything. Despite their threats that he could die, the majority of his injuries were not that life threatening. The specialized suit he wore protected him from being cut deep by the swords. Bruises, a couple sprains, and lots of sore muscles plagued him now, but he wasn't going to let them know just how much. The stubborn teen had asked for all of it in his desperation to find out more about who he was. He was a skilled fighter, with his sword and in the cockpit. Pain would never cease his fiery warrior spirit, not in this way.

Doubt, on the other hand, that still lingered.

Despite the unexpected outcome, Keith felt rewarded that he did go on this mission with Shiro. Shiro might have wanted to just talk to him, but this turned into much more than that. Even though he hadn't found out _how_ he got the short sword, the Red Paladin finally understood the significance of the sword. It was also a honor that they let him keep it. But a different kind of anxiety soon took over, that cold feeling of uncertainty and fear in knowing he _really_ was related to the Galra.

The _good_ Galra.

Keith was with the _good_ Galra. His mother or someone in his family had to be, in order to pass on this sword to him. The Blade of Marmora _were_ still on their side, once he proved himself to them.

There was not anything else to fear… right?

These Galra wanted Zarkon defeated as much as Allura and the rest of his team did. He kept telling himself this, over and over, because if Shiro accepted that truth, the others on Team Voltron should be able to as well. That was the hope.

The introductions and explanations of why it took them longer than intended had stirred up the mood a bit. The others did their best to not show much alarm, or speak with apprehension, when Keith finally explained his personal sword. They all knew he carried it, but to see how he could change the knife into one of the Galran swords, they didn't know what to say. Keith could just _feel_ it from them, the uncertain look in their eyes and their attitudes in how they stood. This second sense instinct he had, was it also a Galran thing?

Keith sat heavily into his operator's chair on the control deck, staring blankly at Allura, Coran, and the two Blade leaders as they reviewed the facts that were known so far. His mind kept drifting back over everything he had known about himself again.

Coran said the Lions normally weren't that connected to them over a certain distance, but Red had been able to reach out to him no matter the circumstance. Was it because his bond was stronger as a Galra? Was that why she acted defensively toward him the very first time he tried to rescue her? His lion always knew who he was, but as temperamental as she was, Red's loyalty to him remained unbelievably strong. Unshakable. He didn't get it at first, in his vision, but after, on their way back to the castle, his curiosity multiplied. It was a question that still bothered him, why Red was on the Galra ship. Who was Red's paladin before him? Coran and Allura acted like no other Galra, besides Zarkon, had been a paladin. Let alone also have gone to earth.

The Galra connections among them were hard to ignore now. Shiro and Pidges' family had been Galran prisoners. More importantly, Keith just so happened to be there to rescue his old friend when he came back to earth. He had no idea that it was going to be Shiro, it was just what he figured out from the energy pulses, and the cave markings. How involved was Ulaz in all of that? Would the other Blades be willing to elaborate more about that to him?

The weirdest thing was how it involved him. How was it that he had Galra blood, but still looked completely human. What had his Dad been hiding from him all this time? He always had a hard time accepting him, and now this. How could he trust him now? This was just… crazy.

His dad once had good intentions, a soldier dedicated to serving his country. But he wasn't able to stay and dedicate himself to Keith as a father too… always gone for one reason or another, putting God and country first over family and friends. All that would be left behind for Keith, whenever he did decide to stop by, was some money for essentials and school. Soon after, Keith started to blame his own anger coming from his dad's uncaring, nonexistent presence.

Meeting Shiro at the karate dojo he started going to was what had changed his life. His growing curiosity about hand to hand combat and self defense brought him to that place. During the practice sessions, Keith was often his sparring partner due to their skilled ability. Despite their age difference and belt rank, Keith found he could relate with and talk to Shiro. In that time, Shiro helped him find goals to give his life more purpose. His older friend was also a senior officer at the Galaxy Garrison, and soon told him so much about that institution, the wonders of space exploration, and the challenges of the training there. Shiro was actually his pilot nickname, which reminded him of his dad's, which was Akira. Keith listened to these conversations with a grain of salt, however. His dad had left a bitter taste in his mouth about that kind of lifestyle, about fighter pilots and the government. Shiro's stories somehow turned that around, to help Keith also see the good behind it. And to realize he was also just as skilled at flying as he was with fighting, after becoming enlisted himself.

Then Zarkon words about his fighting skill being like that of a Galra haunted him again.

"Are you okay? You sure you don't need some time in the healing pod?" Shiro prodded him again, noticing how Keith was distancing himself from the others after the formal introductions. The team leader asked him about that again, only because Allura or Coran hadn't offered any aid.

Keith told himself it was only because the others didn't know the full extent of what he went through. Plus he just didn't want the sympathy right now. Stopping Zarkon was far more important. But the senior officer continued to study him as he awaited Keith's answer.

"Just tired.. I'll be okay," he told Shiro, because honestly he was. A tic passed before Keith remembered that was the same kind of answer he's been giving Shiro for awhile. His friend's eyes kept going to his right shoulder, because of the way he had been favoring it since the trials. Shiro said he saw everything, so Keith really couldn't lie if he wanted to. "I'm.. it- it's just sore. I probably pulled something in my shoulder."

"That still will need attention," the older told him, his tone quite serious. "You don't have to tough it out. Let them know you need some aid."

Keith nodded, looking away to cast his eyes across the room. The mood on the control deck still felt off. He could wait it out.

Shiro patted on his left shoulder, just to further reassure him. Keith still felt thankful for his unspoken support. In gradual pieces from the mind bonding as Voltron, Keith had become aware of how much the Galra tortured Shiro, had forced him to fight against his wishes, and the experimentations. So much horror that had gotten lost and locked in the senior officer's mind for a good reason. The Galra did all of this to Shiro for a year, but here he was as the first of them to trust these Galran rebels.

"Keith.. you're still _you_. What you just discovered doesn't change anything about your place with us, okay?"

The Red Paladin glanced over to him, acknowledging his point.

"If you ever need to talk," he held eye contact with him.

"Yeah," Keith sighed, looking away. He still wasn't ready yet though.

They heard Allura calling over to Shiro, the other two Blades by her side. Shiro straightened up and nodded to Keith before going back over to them.

He still felt weird, struck down by that hard, cold expression from Allura. How could she regard him in that way, after everything he did for them? It was not like being Galran was a secret he was purposely keeping from her. He suddenly wanted to leave the control room, feeling that they didn't really want his advice now anyway.

No.. the Keith they used to know had already ran away. He had shut down a long time ago… cutting them off. Because it was easier to leave when they no longer acknowledge you as a friend. He didn't want to think about himself, but then he realized he didn't want to become like his dad. Only thinking about the mission, and not caring about what really mattered. But he never had his own family to worry about before…

Shiro implied that much. Choosing Voltron was not choosing to forget about his past life. It was choosing to save it, while also keeping the whole universe safe.

And then he wanted him to be their back-up leader. How? He was horrible with talking to people, without making them mad somehow.

Keith pinched his brow, while resting his elbows on his knees. He was growing tired of the storm of uneasy thoughts endlessly churning in his head.

"…are you going to leave, after this?" Lance finally walked over to ask him, now that Shiro walked away. "Because you do that."

"I do not!" Keith snapped back, looking up at the taller paladin. He recognized his flare-up and clenched his jaw. Letting his feelings take control of his actions was a problem he did have. This habit went as far back as the fights he had with his dad, and then dropping out of the Garrison.

"No.. you _do_ ," Lance called it. This time his assumption couldn't be more true. "Especially how you ran off with Allura, without telling _anyone_ first!" the lanky teen crossed his arms, not hiding his jealously at that point. Something of which Keith found to be so annoying. Lance had a crush on practically every eye-pleasing alien that caught his eye, and _still_ pined for Allura's nonexistent affections while he drove Keith insane with his teasing. He thought Lance would never shut-up about that planet of mermaids.

"I wasn't in the mood to explain…" he muttered.

"Yeah, I've been noticing lately," Lance looked to him again.

The Red Paladin had been wanting to distance himself ever since he became afraid of what his sword meant. His instincts were going crazy with the clues he was seeing, revealing more about his past. And his sword, it was the only real thing he had for as long as he could remember. He couldn't just throw it away like it never existed. So keeping his distance was just to protect them from who, or what, he was. Just in case that his Galran connection did turn against all of them.

Keith sighed, narrowing his eyes at Lance. He had that smug look now, that knowing look. That exasperating, pleased look that came when Lance knew he was right. He was such an attention hog in the worse way, even if it was the wrong kind of attention.

"You were even wanting to be far, far.. very _far_ away from me in the flipped up pool!" Lance had to add.

Somehow, the first thing Keith thought of at the mention of _that_ was the feel of Lance's cool skin against his own, when they literally ended up being stuck to each other, back to back, trying to get out of the elevator shaft. That was definitely another event he wasn't going to openly discuss with anyone. Or the fact that Lance had an acute fear of small, pitch-black-dark places. They had to find a way out of there before Keith ending up killing him.

"Okay.. point made," Keith attempted to level with Lance, rising up to face him. It would be possible for Lance to assume that he's going to stay with the Blade of Marmora after this, but that wasn't going to be the case. "But I'm not going anywhere now. I'm a paladin of Voltron, no matter what."

 _Because Red will probably drag me back even if I did try to leave again._

"Good." Lance hesitated and added quietly, almost apologetically. "Because I- _we_ still need you."

"I know..." Keith agreed, just as softly. He tried to not look weirded out that Lance pretty much said what he was thinking. That genuinely sincere look that he rarely saw Lance display lasted briefly, but had managed to stir his emotions.

" _You_ are what makes Voltron so badass," Lance pointed out as well.

Keith snorted. Okay, now that was getting a little bit out of character for Lance. It also was becoming more apparent how he keep his distance from Shiro, after that small dispute before they went to the secret base. Keith gave him the side-eye, not changing his position in the chair. "Is this how you apologize?"

Lance crossed his arms, regaining his indignant stance as he gazed out to the others. "Why should I have to apologize for the way you keep pissing me off?"

His eyes glanced down. "Just.. just been worried about stuff…"

"Like if you really were Galra?"

Keith nodded. "Ever since we caught Ulaz after he snuck on the ship.. that's when I noticed his sword had the same symbol like on my knife," he decided to tell Lance that much.

"I told you it was a magical hobbit sword," Lance wagged his finger at him.

Keith groaned. "It isn't!"

"How much Galra are you?" Lance finally asked, the blue in his steely eyes seemed to glint a little more that time when he made eye contact with Keith again. "Besides your crazy mullet, and your _temper_ , there's nothing else really _Galran_ about you."

Keith glowered at him, and forcibly tempered himself before responding. And then he realized what Lance was really telling him. That he was still the same Keith that Lance knew yesterday. And every day before that.

"No.. no, one told me _how_ I am Galra. I just know that I have enough of their DNA in my blood to affect their tech," Keith answered more calmly, glancing back up to Lance next to his chair. Of course, he wondered again if that was why his irises were also purple. Which, in some way, did not make sense since pureblood Galra eyes were a glowing golden color.

"Ooh… that explains this other thing. Remember when we were getting through a Galran security point? I was all over that control panel and it did nothing for me!" Lance furthered expanded on his own conclusions, now talking more with his hands again. "Then you touched it once and it worked!"

"Where?"

"That panel, back on the base at Balmera..?" Lance looked at him, raising an eye brow.

Keith wasn't very clear which panel he referred to now. He had been around a lot of panels since then, and his mind was still on overdrive.

"Nevermind," the taller teen sighed, crossing his arms to watch the five elders and that multi-armed mongoose discuss universal charts and worm-hole schematics. He could go over there to contribute now, it looked like. Pidge already was, and no one said they couldn't. Yet, Lance still hung around him.

At that, Keith wondered if Lance was still mad about Shiro's decision earlier. It did irk Keith at how Lance got up in Shiro's face to argue with him about his decision. All the Blue paladin had to do to earn his respect from Shiro, and even Allura, was to just stop being such an asscrack. Not that his current situation was any better. The way Allura regarded his news did not sit well on his conscious either.

That was when it occurred to him how much Lance looked to Keith as his source of motivation. His reason to rise above and become more. Lance had been watching Keith since he became aware of his skill back at the Garrison. Before he was even aware of who Lance was. Lance needed him there as his rival, to keep him in his A game, or he wold also fall victum to self-doubt.

"So.. Coran gave me this muscle balm stuff that works _great_ with the stiffness," Lance whispered to him, all the while standing by Keith chair with his arms crossed now. The vain teen ended that statement with a slight smile that he slipped to the lithe teen in the moment when Keith glanced up to him.

 _Was he being serious?_ Keith stared out across the room, not sure what to say in reponse. This new thought completely train wrecked all of his previous thoughts that had been running through his head a second before.

"Only saying…" Lance was still barely audibly. "Just 'cause Hunk almost took me out, back there on that mermaid planet. He was under mind-control… so he didn't remember any if it."

Keith gave him a more anxious look, wondering where as this detail was going.

"Had to avoid the healing pod cause I didn't want Hunk to wonder why," he concluded his reasoning for this conversation. "So…. meet me at my room later?" Lance rose his eyebrows once more as he gave Keith that flirtatious smile. Again.

Keith mock smiled just as briefly, to show that he got it, but soon went back to his blank gaze across the room.

A massage. A quiznaking deep muscle _massage_. With Lance's hands all over his shoulders, back, his body… skin against skin. Already Keith was hiding behind his hands to scrub away the flushing heat he suddenly felt. That thought was really too much to handle right now.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Keith muttered, not looking up at all yet.

Lance shrugged, practically acting like the innocent one. "Hunk somehow fell asleep. Pidge's too busy pidging. And they.. look really intense."

"Just suck it up to Shiro already," Keith dropped his hands to look over to Lance.

"Yeah, whatever…" Lance sighed, acting like he might as well. "But after all this, you're coming to see me," the Blue paladin winked, his baby blues sparkling brightly at him.

 _Right_ …


End file.
